When to tell relatives, friends or boss that I’m pregnant?
The news of the positive test unleashes a whirlwind of crazy emotions. Even those who are champions of “I will never tell anyone before 3 months” would like to shout it to the whole world as soon as the two lines on the test are colored.
When to tell your relatives, friends, boss or co-workers that you are pregnant? Obviously the news is shared immediately with the dad-to-be, but everyone else? Mom, mother-in-law, uncles, friends, … When is the best time to communicate the pregnancy to the people close to us?
Many women decide to make the announcement only at the end of the first trimester (ie after 13 weeks ) , when the risks of problems or miscarriages tend to be drastically reduced.
However, if you carry out a risky job , which could endanger the health of the child or the good progress of the pregnancy, it is important to communicate the pregnancy to the employer as soon as possible , asking to be transferred to another department and/or change job.
When to announce pregnancy to relatives?
The end of the first trimester is often considered the right time to communicate the pregnancy to the family. Of course, parents and immediate family can receive the good news even sooner.
In any case, when to communicate the pregnancy is a completely personal decision and should not be subject to any external influences. It shouldn’t be based on the choices other women have made or on statistics.
When to tell friends about pregnancy?
Again, this is a personal choice. Many women decide to reveal their pregnancy to friends and acquaintances only after the first trimester, while others announce immediately.
Usually the 13-week milestone is what makes the couple and in particular the mother breathe a sigh of relief: from then on, you can fully enjoy the pregnancy by setting aside the most common anxieties.
If you’re worried about telling everyone too soon, only share the news with your closest friends , who will be able to keep it a secret until you and your partner decide to tell everyone else.
When to report pregnancy at work?
It is important to immediately inform the employer of the pregnancy if there is a risk to the health of the mother or the child.
It must be said, however, that the Italian law (Consolidated text for the protection of maternity and paternity Legislative Decree 151/2001, art.8) imposes the obligation to communicate only in the event of occupational risks due to exposure to ionizing radiation .
However, it is the employer’s duty to inform all female workers of all possible risks associated with the environment and professional activity and of the need to communicate the state of pregnancy, so that they can be transferred to another department or job function.
In the absence of risks to the health of mother and child, however, the woman’s only obligation is to inform the employer of the state of pregnancy before maternity leave . But how soon?
Let’s say that the correctness would require to notify in time, so that the owner can find a replacement during the maternity leave.
Why do we tend to wait to announce the pregnancy?
There are many reasons that can lead a woman to wait. Here are the most common.
Fear of a miscarriage
Early telling of the pregnancy to friends and relatives then exposes the need to tell everyone the sad news in case the pregnancy does not continue.
The topic of spontaneous abortion is still taboo and should be talked about more freely. A woman often suffers the suffering of loss in solitude, because she is hardly understood in her pain by those who have not lived the same sad experience.
If the acceptance of pain were a common practice, assimilated and widespread, it would be easier to address the subject and a woman would feel freer and safer to talk about her pregnancy, receiving the support she needs.
Unwanted advice
It is known that once friends and relatives learn about pregnancy, everyone has an advice or recommendation for the expectant mother.
Often this is unsolicited , useless or even worse harmful advice, which can be unpleasant or annoying. Don’t worry about this: you will surely be able to find strategies to manage excessive intrusiveness. One of the best defenses is to hide behind a circumstantial smile and move on. Also remember that your partner can also be a great help in curbing overzealousness from friends and family.
Fear of losing your job
Many women fear losing their job by breaking the news of their pregnancy.
In this regard, we recall that the law protects the mother in the various stages of pregnancy and in the first years of the child’s life . The ban on dismissal extends from the beginning of the pregnancy until the completion of the first year of the child’s life.
The mother also has the right to keep her job and to resume the same position that was reserved for her before maternity leave.
In conclusion
To say it or not to say it right away is a personal dilemma. You are perfectly free to immediately shout it to the whole world or to wait for the bump to be seen. It’s about your pregnancy and therefore it’s up to you and the future dad to choose without too many conditions what you think is most appropriate. Everything else will come by itself.
Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.
Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.