When the desire for a child is triggered

Life plays strange tricks. Years are spent engaged in a thousand activities, work, study, sport, friends, travel… existence seems perfect as we are living it. We have a partner who loves us and many things that commit us every day. Then suddenly everything changes.

We go shopping and we stop to look at the little children’s clothes ; wherever we turn our gaze we always manage to find a pram, a stroller or a belly. What is happening?

Then we go home and almost by some sort of strange magical combination, our best friend calls us to shout excitedly “I’m pregnant!”.

And our world begins to rock!

All of a sudden that disruptive natural, instinctive, physiological, biological desire, call it what you want, in short, the desire for motherhood appears in all its grandeur and beauty. Now everything is clear, we want that child too!

And he?

And your him? What do you think about it? Maybe he had already asked you and you said to wait or he seems light years away from this new situation just discovered!

We don’t want to wait and we would like to call him… or we wait for the evening and prepare a special dinner… or we still wait for him to take the first step.

In any case, the hope is that the dad candidate also thinks like you. And if so, we women throw ourselves headlong into this stork hunt. We buy books, we surf the internet in search of all the necessary information: we google ovulation, fertility, conception, positions to increase fertility… in short, in a few hours we get a thorough understanding of the subject and then off we go dancing.

I fantastic

Shortly after the fertile days and your homework well done, the first symptoms or “ phantom symptoms ” arrive . We already feel completely pregnant, with widespread malaise, nausea, various tiredness and extremely irritable.

We have read online or in a newspaper that enlarged and sore breasts could be one of the first symptoms. And we find ourselves occasionally touching our breasts to understand if it hurts or not, maybe while we’re queuing up at the supermarket. One day it hurts and the next day we don’t feel anything and so off we go once again to confront each other to try to understand if it’s okay even like this.

The day of the period is getting closer and closer, we make a thousand runs to the bathroom in fear that the period is about to arrive or just to check that everything is still silent… and then instead the bloody redheads arrive, even more punctual than usual. And yet… it really seemed to have succeeded!

The sadness is a lot but it’s also the first attempt so let’s go with the second round… We don’t have much patience, in fact we have very little, we want that child right away . So let’s adopt the intensive technique with basal temperature, calculators, sticks, fertile days become a strategic battlefield. Could our him be affected or is he amused by so much interest?

It’s typical of us women

Who knows, in any case the search for the stork, when it doesn’t arrive in the first months, becomes a problem for us, a big problem . And it’s perfectly normal to get a lot of paranoia.

It’s typical of us women but never blame yourself!

Everyone tells us to be calm, that anxiety makes it worse, that they got pregnant when they no longer thought about it… All sensible words that are impossible for me to put into practice. We feel trapped in a vortex from which we would like to emerge with a good positive pregnancy test.

Then that little red line comes full of emotion, joy and tears. An indescribable joy that suddenly puts us in enormous fear. And now? Time to stay calm and enjoy the moment right, right?!

We dive back into the net to understand what will happen now, how we will have to behave, how much I will grow, how much the child will grow … we are attacked by a thousand questions that need an urgent, immediate and comprehensive answer because now … a new life is growing inside us, we are expecting a baby!

Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.

Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.

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