7 ways to keep the romance alive when looking for a baby

The decision to have a baby and putting it into action can be very emotional and exciting for the couple.

However, all this emotional involvement can quickly become stressful and tiring if the pregnancy is late in coming.

Sex is a key part of romantic relationships, and not just when trying to have a baby. That’s why it’s important to keep romance alive to avoid turning sexual intercourse into a chore and falling under the weight of performance anxiety. A situation that eventually becomes counterproductive.

1) Sex shouldn’t become a routine

It can happen to all couples that sex becomes a routine by dint of trying and trying again to catch the stork.

Especially for couples who have been trying to conceive for months or years, having intercourse every cycle can be difficult.

Having intercourse on set days can also make you lose that spontaneity and romance that should always be present in the intimacy of a couple.

When you’re not trying to get pregnant it’s much easier to be spontaneous or recreate special occasions. This all gets complicated when sex becomes “remote controlled” for conception purposes.

We know it’s complicated, but don’t let pregnancy become the only reason you have sex.

2) Remember the difference between the sexes

Women and men approach the search for pregnancy differently. Many women struggle to have intercourse outside of the fertile period, especially around the date of menstruation, taken as they are in the hope of seeing a positive. And if menstruation arrives on time, stress increases.

Stress often dulls the desire to have intercourse, and the less intercourse you have, the less likely you are to have a baby.

Anxiety can affect both but in the case of males the most common complaint is that of feeling “exploited” on fertile days and then falling into oblivion.

Talk to each other about these difficulties in order to find a mutually satisfactory compromise. Dialogue on these issues must never be lacking.

3) Keep the romance alive

Knowing the fertile days in advance allows you to plan time together, perhaps organizing a romantic getaway, or booking a dinner in the place you like to frequent, or simply cooking something special together.

The important thing is to spend time together to enjoy each other’s company. And sex in these cases becomes a pleasant icing on the cake.

4) Not only the fertile period

It is true that once you ovulate there is no longer any need to have intercourse for conception. However, continuing to maintain the couple’s intimacy even during infertile periods is very important to keep the relationship alive.

Moreover, some studies underline the importance of never allowing more than 5 days of abstinence to pass to promote both male and female fertility.

5) Goal orgasm

There is no evidence that it is strictly necessary to have an orgasm to get pregnant. But orgasm increases uterine contractions which can help sperms in their journey. So work hard, play, rack your brains, to be able to achieve it.

6) Every couple is different

Every couple approaches the pregnancy journey differently. There are men who want to be involved in monitoring the menstrual cycle to accompany the woman in understanding her fertile period. Others, on the other hand, don’t want to know which are the most fertile days of their partner so as not to feel too much pressure. Nobody knows each other better than the members of the couple themselves, so talk about it and try to find the right compromise that represents the best solution for both.

7) The highest probability of success

Not all couples are able to keep up the frequency of intercourse. The optimal would be to have intercourse every other day on fertile days. If it is really not possible to maintain this rhythm, the important thing would be to have at least 3 intercourses a week (intervaled).

The alternative is to try to identify the 2-3 most fertile days ever, with the use of monitors or ovulation tests and concentrate the reports only on those days.

However, for the couple, as mentioned before, intimacy even in the days away from the fertile period is very important, but it must be a choice for both.

Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.

Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.

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