The rainbow children, the light after the storm

The term rainbow babies refers to those children born into families who suffered a miscarriage, or stillbirth or perinatal death. They are children who represent the light at the end of the storm for that family.

Pregnancy after a bereavement of this type is not easy at all, as all the mothers who have experienced it can testify. There are many emotions: fear, joy, and more; subsequent pregnancies can often reactivate a parent’s attachment to the lost child and thus disruptively resurface feelings of loss. Some experts liken this condition to that of a war veteran, who upon returning to normal is overwhelmed by severe anxiety because she sees danger everywhere.

In the same way, in fact, a woman who faces a pregnancy after a loss is terrified that it could happen again, and even if the pregnancy proceeds without problems, the fears are constant.

Rainbow children

The term “rainbow children” comes from the idea of ​​a rainbow appearing in the sky after a storm, or after dark and turbulent weather. The term has gained popularity on blogs and social media in recent years and has become a symbol of hope and rebirth.

For those who have experienced the loss of a child, the birth of a rainbow child is a time of immense joy, but also of reflection, healing, and very mixed emotions.

Rainbow pregnancies can bring strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and fear. The guilt of rejoicing in a new life when the pain of loss is still strong. The fear of being happy for the new life, for the fear of seeing happiness fade again sooner or later.

The importance of asking for help

Women who have experienced a stillbirth are at a higher risk of postpartum depression and anxiety.

Rainbow pregnancies are often emotionally complex, involving feelings of pain and guilt along with relief, excitement, and happiness.

All these emotions must be worked through with the support of the partner, but not only. It is very important to contact medical professionals, associations (such as CiaoLapo Onlus ) and self-help groups with parents who have suffered the same losses.

An anxious wait

Anxiety is a common emotion for any couple who are expecting a rainbow baby. It’s a normal and understandable feeling.

Support from friends and family or attending help groups is helpful in coping with anxiety. However, you can also choose to rely on a psychotherapist to help you deal with anxiety and learn how to manage it.

Many women, or couples who have suffered this mourning, are also advised to keep a daily diary, to write down feelings and emotions.

Remember: pain can be exhausting, and even more so when you’re pregnant. Ask for the help you need.

Monitor the rainbow baby

Your doctor will let you know what tests and checkups are needed once you get into a rainbow pregnancy. Careful monitoring and constant support will help you carry the pregnancy to term and deal with it in the best possible way.

Frequent checkups can comfort the mother about the baby’s health. Counting kicks is a way to independently monitor the health of the child. Fetal movement counting is important because if you notice a change in the third trimester, in usual activity, it can be a sign of fetal distress.

From about 28 weeks, you can start monitoring your baby’s movements.  It is very important to learn about the rhythms and what is normal in the child’s routine.

Always inform your doctor if you notice any changes in your usual activity or if you are worried that something is not right.

Because rainbow babies are special

A rainbow baby brings great joy after a very difficult time and symbolizes hope and healing.

For parents who have suffered the loss, rainbow babies also represent treasured memories related to that child who is no more.

It is normal, even after the birth of the rainbow baby, to feel overwhelmed by the sadness of the previous pregnancy. This pain shouldn’t be locked up in your heart, externalize it, don’t let others decide if and when you should suffer. Take all the time you need to vent your emotions.

Even after your rainbow baby is born, you can find ways to remember the child you lost. Planting a tree together or creating a special corner in the garden can give you a space to continue healing together. Sharing your story with the rainbow baby when he grows up can also be comforting, while never forgetting to let them feel how special they are.