The first days at home with a newborn: how to manage the child, relatives and any siblings

The newborn arrives at home and just as there is a honeymoon, known abroad as a honeymoon , there is also a babymoon , that is, that period of transition that begins upon returning home from the hospital and can last a few weeks.

At this juncture, leave the housework alone, turn on the answering machine, give yourself time to recover but above all enjoy your new family.

It might not be an easy time, the birth of the child was just the starting point of this new parenting adventure. We women feel like we are on a roller coaster: our body is trying to get back to normal but at the same time a new wave of hormones is about to be released into the circulation with the milky whipped which usually arrives 3-4 days after giving birth. Our mood is therefore decidedly fluctuating

I know you feel overburdened with responsibilities and fears that the milk will not arrive or not arrive enough, or that you may not be able to handle the baby. It is a very common feeling that we have almost all experienced. But becoming a parent doesn’t just mean having responsibilities but also filling your life with love. There are a lot of people who are ready to help you out. Just ask! Grandparents are usually the first to want to help relieve fatigue. Energy returns soon but you need to help yourself with the right diet: eat well and regularly , drink lots of water and rest as much as you can.

When the baby sleeps, don’t start doing household chores, rest too!

How to introduce a new little brother

If you have older children, give them the right attention they need too. Here are some useful tips

• The little brother (or little sister) must be made aware that the mother will be away for a few days for the birth and must know who will look after him during those days
• Involve the older brother in the preparations and make him feel important
• be sincere and explain that with the arrival of the baby, mum and dad will have to spend time with him and may feel tired. Also explain that there will be a lot of new things you can do together. This way they will be less worried when they realize that you will have less time to dedicate to them
• Let the little brother prepare a gift for the new arrival. It could be something that the newborn will use often such as a blanket or a stuffed toy.
• Also equip yourself with a little gift that the newborn will give to the little brother
• When you come home from the hospital, make sure that the little brother strokes and touches the little hands or feet of the newborn, avoiding criticism if he does it awkwardly
• Try to involve the little brother in the care of the newborn, for example when changing the diaper, or washing him
• While you are breastfeeding the baby, have the baby sit next to you and tell him or read him a story
• If you notice that the older brother regresses and wants to be treated like a small child, be patient and abound with kisses and cuddles
• It is important that the older brother is guaranteed his routine (bath, falling asleep, etc.) that makes him feel safe.
• Jealousy is a very common and natural feeling and is more evident in children with two years of difference . In children with less or more years of difference it occurs less frequently.
• If older siblings express anger at the newcomer and ask their parents to “send him away,” stay calm. Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling and reassure them that you love them and things will get better soon.
• Try to spend at least an hour a day alone with your older child,
• Never leave your brother or sister alone with your baby.

Visits from relatives

Relatives arrive en masse when a child is born. Be welcoming but set boundaries.

Schedule visiting hours so that you can rest and spend as much alone time with the child as possible.

Take care of the baby together

Babies look very fragile. At first, it will seem like you are handling them as if they were a very delicate porcelain vase.

It is right that the child is managed and maneuvered in the correct way, and you must expect that others do it too. But don’t be too critical of dads. Mothers tend to be overprotective of the child but remember that he belongs to both.

The management of the child must be a point of union for the couple and not a reason for argument. Aside from maneuvering the baby that needs to be done right, there are sure to be things you and the dads will do differently. They are different methods of approach, be tolerant and involve them as much as possible. The child needs the affection of both parents and dads also need to express their feelings for the child.

Some studies show that if dads are prevented from taking care of the baby in the first few days, they will hardly do it later with the consequence that the mother will have to do most of the work.

Therefore leave the child in the care of the father. If you have just nursed him, let him burp, change, play and put him to sleep.

How to hold a baby

The small child must be carefully held in the arms, the head must be supported because the neck is not able to support its weight on its own.

So make sure that the hand supports the neck and head when you have it in your arms.

When the baby is lying down to pick him up place one hand under the neck and head and the other on the lower back.

If you have to make him burp, lean the baby against your chest, always supporting his head. If, on the other hand, you want to cradle him, arrange the baby horizontally so that the head is a little higher than the body and rests on your elbow

A child feels protected and safe if he is close to mum and dad’s body. Lots of babies like it when you hold them against your chest where they can feel the beating of your heart that marked their days when they were in the tummy.

Some babies also like to lie on their stomachs like in the photo below:

I often see them in this position with dads probably more comfortable with them who have a longer forearm than ours 🙂

And please don’t get anxious.

STOP

If you feel overloaded, stop, breathe deeply and talk about it with your partner, in order to find together the solution to alleviate fears and fatigue.