The father’s role in the postpartum baby blues

Family, emotional and physiological changes sometimes lead new mothers to feel persuaded by a sense of inadequacy towards the new arrival (of uselessness in the case of an already grown-up child who leaves the family unit of origin), with crying spells, sadness mood swings, loss of appetite and sleep disturbances. This symptomatology usually occurs 2/5 days after delivery and is called postpartum dysphoria or maternity blues or baby blues and should not persist for more than 3 weeks

For women, men and couples, the birth of a child is a unique and unforgettable moment , full of joy but also of new challenges and transformations.

After the birth of a child, women experience new emotions, mood swings also due to hormonal changes, as often happens with menopause which sometimes coincides with the children leaving home.

These family, emotional and physiological changes sometimes lead new mothers to feel persuaded by a sense of inadequacy towards the new arrival (of uselessness in the case of an already grown-up child who leaves the family unit of origin), with crying spells, sadness mood swings, loss of appetite and sleep disturbances.

This symptomatology usually occurs 2/5 days after delivery and is called postpartum dysphoria or maternity blues or baby blues and should not persist for more than 3 weeks.

After this period the symptoms become more intense and the mood swings greater and we speak in all respects of postpartum depression. In fact, when this melancholy turns into irritability with the newborn and with the partner, feeling of inadequacy and fear of not being up to the situation, we are faced with the symptoms of a real postpartum depression .

The happy event of the birth of a child invariably brings about important changes on a personal, couple and family level. The balance of the couple (dyad) that had previously formed must be reconstructed with patience and awareness as we have passed to a triad (mother-father-child).

Father’s support

In the case of post-partum dysphoria, the emotional and effective support of the partner is essential to help the woman face this new life experience with the newborn with more serenity and be able to overcome this state of anguish and frustration that pervades the new mother .

The father’s support also becomes fundamental for caring for the child, as he will be able to “replace” the mother in some more delicate moments of the day, in which the mother may be in the throes of crying or something else.

Especially in the first months of the child’s life, the presence of the mother is essential, but if we are talking about a woman who is going through what we have defined as post-partum dysphoria, a father who is able to support his wife, looking after his son and passing on to him that secure base that at the moment only he can give him.

In such an important phase of life as the birth of a child, being able to recover or bring out individual and couple resources is essential for the relationship of new parents with the newborn.

Only with the affection and support of her partner and possibly of the family members involved, the new mother will be able to overcome this moment that many women go through and in a few weeks serenity will return and she will be able to happily continue on the splendid journey that she had decided to undertake.

When the therapist is needed

In the case of post-partum depression (when the symptoms persist for more than 3 weeks and become more and more intense) it is necessary to contact specialized psychotherapists for support that can favor the recovery of the tranquility of the woman and the couple, also through the dissolution of old knots that can arise when some problems emerge in the child: difficulty falling asleep, feeding problems, inconsolable crying.

In some cases an intervention with the whole family may be useful , in case there are other children and especially when they show discomfort during pregnancy or after the arrival of the last born.

The psychotherapist’s intervention, especially if of a systemic-relational orientation, can involve other significant figures in addition to the woman, couple or family (for example, grandparents or uncles), especially if the dynamics of the “extended” family seem to hinder the construction of the new family balance after the birth of the newborn.