The emotions of difficult pregnancies. Let’s talk about.

There are pregnancies that flow serenely and in the evening, when you find yourself beached on the sofa like a whale, despite the nausea, swollen legs and back pain, you place your hand on your belly and think about when you will see your baby, how much it will be beautiful and the things you will do together. You recharge yourself with happy thoughts and smile.

My first pregnancy was so exhausting, incredible, exciting, happy.

Then there are pregnancies that proceed peacefully until one sentence changes everything.

” Madam, the baby has a problem .”

During my second pregnancy I heard these words spoken and, since then, in the evening, beached on the sofa, with my hand on my belly, I found myself coming to terms with my fears, with questions about the future and my ability to face it.

The happy thoughts, however recalled by the footballs and the incessant drumming of my child who loved somersaults, were often clouded by tears. I cried a lot and felt so lonely, even though my husband was always close to me. Well, it’s more correct to say that WE felt alone.

When “there is something wrong”, whether they are small and solvable or serious and disabling problems, when you know that the child you are expecting will have some diversity, the emotions of becoming a mother, that exhausting and thrilling wait, mix fear for what will be and a melancholy anxiety pervades you.

Mine was not a peaceful pregnancy : I was expecting my Killó , who is now four years old, knowing that he had Down’s Syndrome and a serious heart malformation.

I didn’t know then what I’m discovering together with him (and which would have helped me a lot), namely that I love him deeply, he’s a delightful, intelligent and lively child and that I’m not alone in facing difficulties. I learn from him and from other moms and women who go through my same emotions and experiences.

You can read our story on my blog and, I warn you, it’s a happy story, in which we often smile and roll up our sleeves.

However, I cannot forget the sense of loneliness I felt during my pregnancy , when friends didn’t know what to say, when I too barricaded myself behind my pained silence.

Instead, I believe that for all mothers who experience a pregnancy full of doubts and fears about any problem of their child, talking and discussing become even more precious tools for fighting loneliness and for dealing with one’s anxieties.

The web is a great resource and mothers, here, on Fertile Period, have already discovered it and use it to give themselves comfort and support.

There are also more complex pregnancies, like mine was, that we want to give a voice to. Elena and I are waiting for you here.

Write to us. Tell us about your feelings and emotions.

On Fertile Period there are experts available  to answer our and your questions and I myself, as a mother, will be happy to hug you virtually.

I am addressing you, dear expectant mothers, but I won’t call you “special”, because I don’t like it when they say it to me. Only mothers can suffice , with children with a few more needs.

Because there are many types of parenting, many mothers and many children, all different and all unique, and together we can create opportunities for discussion and growth.