Pregnancy

Spontaneous abortion and the most common psychological aspects

What are the psychological consequences of a miscarriage? How to deal with the drama of abortion and find the emotional strength to try again?

Spontaneous abortion occurs when the fetus is lost before the 24th week of gestation or before the fetus reaches viability and in any case until the fetus has the ability to survive outside the uterus without artificial aids. According to some statistics, 10-30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage and on average 17 times out of 100 it occurs in the first weeks of pregnancy.

Are the causes of miscarriage controllable?

The occurrence of this event most of the time does not depend on controllable causes , it is independent of one’s own actions and it is therefore important that the woman is aware of it.

It can happen especially in the first pregnancy and it’s one of those things that a woman doesn’t think about and information is often scarce.

Miscarriage usually occurs suddenly and interrupts the bond that was created with the child. In particular, women find themselves no longer knowing who to give all the love they had invested up to that moment in the unborn child.

Although it is difficult to exhaustively describe all the emotions and thoughts that the parental couple experiences during the mourning of the miscarriage, there are nevertheless quite common conditions such as emptiness and bewilderment, because the unexpected breaking of that bond presents itself as a unusual event, against nature and therefore totally outside of an understandable and acceptable reality.

Great sadness

Even a slight depression can take over, a great sadness for everything that had already been imagined and which cannot be realized. A couple who know they are expecting a baby, even if it has only been for a few weeks, emotionally take on all the responsibilities that build a physical and mental bond with the baby and fantasize about what the baby will be like, how their lifestyle will change, what they will have to to buy, how they will eventually have to modify the house and much more.

Fantasies about the “imaginary child” are many and desires and expectations grow above all by seeing the growth of the child in the ultrasound images. This also creates a strong attachment to that little “bean” that is growing in the mother’s uterus and which makes parents aware that there will soon be a physiological and psychological transition from a dyad to a triad, therefore a new one will form to all intents and purposes. family.

Above all, the woman immediately establishes a relationship with that little “bean”, which is growing in her belly and the father already feels full of pride.

Some women experience a feeling of unreality associated with sadness, which can be combined with agitation and a tendency to keep extremely busy, as if to avoid thinking about what happened.

Looking for a reason

In the days following the miscarriage , emotions of the negative sphere are often present, such as sadness, anguish , one also feels guilty, and one looks for a reason, a mistake made by the woman and that in some way could have harmed the child.

We therefore want to give a reason why it happened and sometimes during the same day moments of apathy alternate with deep feelings of pain and despair associated with feelings of guilt and the memory of what happened. Other times, however, there may be moments of hyperactivity where you can’t sit still and often take refuge in work.

These situations happen more than you think.

Talk and share

The fundamental thing to keep in mind is to talk to your partner about the psychological discomfort you are experiencing, in order to be able to share this moment of pain, recognizing this suffering for the mourning process, as completely legitimate but which must be faced and outdated. The contribution of those around the parental couple such as grandparents or close friends is also essential to help with practical household chores, meal preparation, family activities and entertainment for other children if any.

Spontaneous abortion, like any other bereavement, takes time to process and changes from person to person but in general it is overcome within the first six months, in which sometimes there may also be an alteration of the wake/sleep rhythm and a change in appetite. If mourning does not occur naturally, it is advisable to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist.

For a woman facing a miscarriage, I advise against trying a new pregnancy immediately , both because the body must resume its normal functions and because the trauma of the miscarriage must first be overcome.

Dr Kathryn Barlow

Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.

Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.

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