Sexual intercourse after childbirth: what is important to know

Sex after childbirth: how long should you wait? Is it normal to feel discomfort or pain? And what to do to overcome it? Here are all the answers!

Usually, gynecologists recommend waiting about 30-40 days before returning to full sexual intercourse after childbirth . This pause period is necessary for a complete healing of the wounds, in case the expectant mother has suffered lacerations , an episiotomy or a cesarean delivery .

Furthermore, this period of time allows the uterus to return to its original dimensions and to “regenerate” itself through the so-called lochias , ie blood losses that occur after the expulsion of the placenta and which last about a month.

In any case, before resuming sexual activity which includes penetration, it is a good idea to undergo a gynecological check-up to check that everything is going well.

When to have intercourse after a natural birth?

We asked Dr. Sara Amurri, psychologist, counselor and sex educator . “From a purely clinical point of view, before resuming sexual activity one should wait at least 40 days after giving birth , in order to allow the female genital organs to return to normal dimensions and to end the so-called lochias or blood losses, similar to menstruation, which occurs in the puerperium.

If, on the other hand, lacerations caused by the passage of the fetus or an episiotomy have occurred during delivery , you have to wait for both types of “wounds” to have healed.

When to have intercourse after a cesarean delivery?

“As far as caesarean delivery is concerned ” continues Dr. Amurri “although the genital organs have not undergone modifications, care must still be taken when cutting to prevent the woman from suffering pain. To resume practicing sex after childbirth, it is good to wait for the cut to heal properly “.

Sex after childbirth: the role of hormonal changes

“The recovery of sexuality is not determined solely and exclusively by physical expedients, but it is also the result of a hormonal combination. In fact, the event of childbirth determines a modification of hormone levels with consequences on mood and vaginal lubrication .

During breastfeeding we see a considerable increase in prolactin levels , which can cause a decrease in sexual desire and an increase in vaginal dryness, making penetration difficult and sometimes painful.

Furthermore, the high stress that the new mother undergoes increases the levels of cortisol , the stress hormone, with negative effects on the libido.

It will therefore be important to intervene on poor lubrication through the use of lubricating gels or local estrogen therapy so as not to interfere with breastfeeding . Proper intimate hygiene is also necessary with curative soaps that respect the vulvar pH by reducing vestibular and vulvar inflammation.

Sex after childbirth: how to find intimacy again

So how to deal with sex after childbirth, once you have received the green light from the doctor?

As we have seen, recovery may not be easy, especially if (as often happens) sex was somewhat neglected during pregnancy. The first intercourse could therefore be a little  annoying or painful , especially in the presence of scars .

So here are some suggestions to restore intimacy with your partner in the best possible way , bearing in mind that, for any problem or doubt, the gynecologist and the midwife are always the fundamental figures to rely on.

• If you don’t feel ready to have sex, talk about it clearly with your partner and confide in him your feelings and fears: sex is a couple’s issue and should be addressed together .

• Give yourself some time to rediscover complicity with your partner, without thinking about having complete intercourse right away : cuddles, kisses and caresses can help you gradually recover sexual understanding and rekindle desire.

• To restore tone and elasticity to the muscles surrounding the vagina, perform pelvic floor exercises : your trusted midwife will be able to suggest the most suitable ones.

• If you experience pain during intercourse, see your gynecologist to rule out inflammation or infection.

• Especially in the case of lacerations or episiotomies, take good care of your intimate hygiene . To speed up healing, you can try using a solution of water and calendula mother tincture , which has a high disinfectant and healing power, or sage and thyme- based cleansers , which are excellent antiseptics and respect the vaginal and vulvar.

• To improve wound healing and reduce the risk of inflammation, gently massage scars  with St. John’s wort oil or an aliamide-based gel , or use hyaluronic acid-based healing sprays .

• In case of vaginal dryness , ask your gynecologist to recommend a good lubricant or to prescribe an estrogen-based product to be applied directly into the vagina, to increase hydration and elasticity .

Sex after childbirth: feeling ready not only physically

Dr. Amurri underlines that “It may happen that physical pain is a direct consequence of a psychological block in the new mother, who with all the stress and physical energy that follows does not yet feel ready to  resume a normal sexual life .

In these cases it is good to talk to your partner and contact the gynecologist to rule out an organic, i.e. physical, problem. You don’t need to feel forced to necessarily start over with a full relationship; it is possible to start with exchanges of affection and intimate tenderness, which will certainly help to relax and rediscover the harmony and serenity of the couple ”.

Sex after childbirth: contraception

Even if you are breastfeeding, remember to always use effective contraception if you have full intercourse again ! Many new mothers don’t know it, but a woman can  get pregnant as early as 3 weeks after giving birth , even if her period hasn’t returned yet.

Furthermore, it is generally recommended to wait  at least  6 months and preferably 18 months  before becoming pregnant again after childbirth , so that the body can recover optimally.