Removing the diaper: the classic method
I usually recommend removing the diaper between 2 and 3 years, knowing that the child is physically trained and therefore has the ability to control the sphincters independently, such as being able to hold the pee for at least half an hour.
Removing the diaper is a delicate step for children who are starting to grow up and become independent, as is going to the bathroom by themselves. Normally I suggest embarking on this adventure in late spring or summer for a pure matter of convenience for both families and children, unless the children request it beforehand, leaving the diaper dry and asking mom, dad, grandparents or nursery teachers to be able to go to the bathroom. At this point the child is making a very clear request and therefore it must be complied with.
As for spring or summer clothing, I recommend avoiding trousers that it is difficult for a child to undo on their own and I recommend stocking up on lots of panties that can be found cheaply everywhere and perhaps letting your little ones choose the color or print to stimulate them in this growth adventure.
We also need to put a lot of patience into consideration as it is not so easy for children to start peeing and pooping independently and without getting dirty.
My experience has led me to the conclusion that becoming familiar with the potty before starting to remove the diaper is very subjective , there are those who never wanted to use it preferring the toilet like their parents, and those who only pooped in the toilet, as presumably more comfortable for the time of permanence.
If children use the toilet with the reducer, it is of fundamental importance to obtain a small stool that allows them to climb easily and to ensure that the knees are bent and higher than the umbilical line in order to avoid possible constipation.
After this premise, I still recommend buying the potty by involving the child in the choice and thus sharing the intention of eliminating the diaper.
We should start by explaining how to use the potty, making him sit down with a doll or showing him how grown-ups do, because imitation of their parents is a source of pride for children. It may be useful for some children to start gaining confidence with the toilet by reading and watching a very simple book with their parents that is usually very successful:
“Who does it in the right place” by AW von Konigslow
Sometimes children ask for the company of one of the parents while they pee or poop to show off their “handiwork” for which they feel no shame or disgust, but they are proud of it and may feel frustrated if their invitation is declined. For children, going to the bathroom is not a private gesture, of which one should be ashamed for the smells and so on, for them, at the moment, doing their needs in the potty or in the toilet is a game that allows them to grow up and become independent and only in this way will he be able to discover the world.
Generally, once you have talked to the child, bought the potty, chosen the panties, you are ready to decisively start the diaper removal process, knowing that it would be better not to go back.
If the child attends nursery school, before starting, I recommend that you talk to the educators and/or the pedagogical coordinator who are well aware of the child’s habits, character and development. Their expertise can help you especially after the first weekend without a diaper. I recommend starting on the weekend to have the opportunity to follow the children throughout the day.
Usually it starts in the morning as soon as you wake up, removing the diaper and telling the child to try to pee in the potty or toilet. He must learn to feel the stimulus so the first attempts will probably fail and he will get wet , but calmly and patiently you have to change him and explain what he has to do without ever getting angry but continue to explain to him where the needs are.
At the beginning, when the child is asked if he is missing his needs, he will casually answer “no now I won’t miss it” and instead after 5 minutes he’ll shit himself, or “yes I will miss it” and in reality he won’t do anything. Gradually even the unpleasant wet sensation will help the child to perceive the stimuli and to make the request or go to the bathroom of his own free will. I recommend even if he pisses himself several times, really convey to him that you believed him at the moment when you need to make him perceive that he didn’t tell lies when he said he didn’t run away and that in any case it’s not a problem to have peed on himself.
I advise you not to shut yourself up at home during these first two days, but to go to the park or to go shopping or to do what you are normally used to doing at the weekend and to stimulate the child about every 30 minutes to pee and when make him wait a couple of hours before urging him on again.
The timings are indicative and may not apply to all children, because how much they pee and how often, is very subjective and each family will be able to best regulate with their child.
It is inadvisable to put a diaper on the child to get into the car just for fear of dirtying it, possibly bring towels to line the seat, but putting on and taking off is not at all helpful for the child. Obviously it is advisable to put it for bedtime in the afternoon and at night, as awakenings during sleep are generally more difficult and require more time to be assimilated.
As for pooping, if the child is quite habitual, you can help him stay on the potty for about twenty minutes with his favorite book, but without too many expectations of success. Remember that peeing and pooping isn’t an exceptional event and therefore you don’t have to shout it at home, to the neighbors or call your grandparents, it would be enough to smile at him and tell him that he was good at understanding that he was running away.
We must not forget that if the adult feels stressed and exhausted because the child does not seem to want to understand, surely he will be too.
If the parents tell it to every person they meet with him present, the child will feel that he can’t while all his peers do and if every 5 minutes he is asked if he has to go to the bathroom, it may happen that the patience, which he had to put into account, it vanishes after two days of failed attempts. Right now patience needs to be pulled out more than ever, remembering that some children can’t handle stress and therefore even the minimum of control capacity they had can suddenly vanish and this makes it even more difficult to expel the poop with the consequence that they begin to hold her.
If you think that the child is ready for this step and any educators have advised you to proceed in this direction, in a few weeks the child will have perfectly learned to pee and poop independently.
Before removing the diaper at night, I recommend checking that the diaper remains dry for at least one consecutive week and that the child asks to pee when he wakes up. This does not mean that he cannot wet the bed in the following days but it is always good to remember not to blame him.
Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.
Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.