Prenatal bonding: the bond between mom, dad and baby
The term “bonding” prenatal in English, means “creation of a bond, union, attachment” and defines a process, both conscious and unconscious, through which the child and the parents connect in an intimate relationship.
It can be understood as a real dialogue, which in fact constitutes the foundation for all subsequent bonds of the child.
The role of mom and dad
Bonding is a process that develops mainly in the relationship between mother and child but also between father and child. This process begins during pregnancy and ends approximately in the first year of the baby’s life.
The role of the mother is fundamental but equally important is the role of the father, which often takes a back seat. Instead it is very important that the father participates in the various stages of gestation, participating in ultrasounds, in the pre-birth course and is also emotionally involved by talking to the baby, caressing the belly and talking to the baby as the future mother does.
These actions also allow the father to enter into a relationship with his child even if it is still a long-distance relationship but this is how the foundations of a splendid relationship between father and son begin to be laid.
How to communicate with the child
Science confirms more and more, through research and studies, that it is possible to create a real communication relationship between child and parents, as the fetus from the first weeks of gestation is a sensitive, intelligent, sociable being, able to perceive both psychologically and emotionally and elaborate sensations.
Although the fetus has closed eyelids until the 26th week, even before it can perceive the light stimulations that pass through the belly.
Around the 24th -25th week the hearing ability is practically the same as that of an adult and for this reason within a few hours of life it has been demonstrated that the child recognizes the voices of his mother and father or music, fairy tales and melodies told during the last months of gestation.
The mother’s role in prenatal bonding
Many studies confirm that one of the factors that most influences the prenatal bond between mother and child is the future mother’s attitude towards pregnancy and that this is the basis of the formation of the child’s personality.
During these 9 months of prenatal bondign communication between mother and baby takes place at different levels and works in both directions. The child begins to discover the mother and the world through her and she begins to discover the child.
At the beginning their relationship is purely physiological infattoi the child discovers the mother through what she eats, drinks, inhales, absorbs and perceives through the blood of the placenta. The child also feels the emotions of the mother and learns to love, rejoice and suffer together with the mother. For this reason, in fact, hormones are the conductors which, as is known, there are both stress hormones and happiness hormones.
With the passing weeks, prenatal bonding intensifies as communication also becomes behavioral, as the child also begins to perceive the mother’s attitudes and way of doing through her gestures such as stroking the belly and talking to him tags. These examples are just some acts of concrete communication that the mother directs to the baby, but even the baby, when he is in situations of annoyance or stress, communicates it to the mother by kicking in the belly.
Another prenatal bonding step that mother and baby achieve is that of Empathic Communication tags. This communication is very subtle, made up of dreams with closed but also open eyes, of the mother’s fantasies and thoughts which influence the prenatal relationship with the child. Fantasizing about something real and pleasant that may or may not be confirmed over time, still sends a message of love and well-being to the child.
The triad (mother-father-child)
Speaking of prenatal bonding, we are not only talking about the relationship between mother and child and father and child, but also, and not least, the relationship between parents and parents with the prenatal baby. The bond of the triad (mother-father-child) occurs even before conception on an emotional and unconscious level. In fact, there are many accredited studies that have found greater problems such as mental retardation, socialization problems, preterm or underweight birth, etc., in those children where the relationship between the parents was not “happy” and between the so-called “unwanted” children.
Within each individual there is an unconscious part and every future mother and every future father must take into account that sooner or later this memory full of positive and negative events will come to the surface and with which it will be necessary to confront him and give him the right space and the right balance. Considering that the mother, in particular, will relate to the child often in an unconscious way, it is essential to find the right harmony and the right weight to what comes out.
This entire prenatal bonding process at the time of birth is enriched and strengthened during the first hours of contact (through breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact that the child can also have with the father) and first “face to face” intercourse. -vis” with the parental figures (the importance of looking during small daily actions such as changing the diaper, bathing and breastfeeding). Infant massages are also very useful for increasing the relationship with the child .
Bonding is important not only for the future relationship between parents and child and consequently with all the others that it will establish during its life; but for the mother and the father it is important to acquire awareness and this bond helps them to develop their sense of competence with respect to their child’s needs and consequently their sense of self- confidence .
Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.
Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.