Newborn

My baby won’t eat: what can I do?

Among the biggest concerns of parents, we often find the topic of food and children. Mom, dad (and grandparents) often wonder if the child doesn’t eat too little, enough or too much, and in the family up to about 3-4 years of age anything happens during meals as long as the children finish what they have on their plate.

Why do children refuse food?

The reasons why children refuse food can be many, but first of all we must exclude that they may have health problems . Then here are some reasons why children refuse the food that is offered to them during meals:

  • they often had many small snacks in the hours before meals;
  • they are aware that if they don’t eat what you offer them, they will soon be offered a favorite food (often including sweets, crisps, snacks, etc.);
  • they want to show that they have control over a situation and challenge the parents;
  • by refusing the food that is offered to them they know they will get a lot of attention.

First of all, each child’s growth corresponds to various discoveries and a different approach to food. The first difficulties usually begin with weaning , but the child slowly learns to know and discover new textures, new flavors and above all he no longer feeds only from the mother’s breast or the bottle but the child sits alone in the high chair, look at the parents or those who take care of him, the food is given to him through a teaspoon, etc. Everything that may seem obvious to an adult is not for a newborn in the process of growth and discovery .As the food grows it takes on an ever more solid shape, he is given the opportunity to touch it, muddle it and feel its consistency, this will help him become familiar with what he eats.

The greatest difficulties usually arrive around the age of two , and often what is interpreted as a whim is actually a completely normal growth phase , in fact the child begins to be aware of himself and builds his identity by affirming his presence in the world also through the opposition. The no, which get on the parents’ nerves, and which the child says continuously at other times of the day, confirm his growth and his gradual process of detachment from his mother, moving towards what we will call the child’s autonomy. Anywayit is normal and healthy for the child to try, starting from 8-9 months, to try to impose himself stubbornly and the ability to respond adequately to the child’s requests lies in the parents. Food is also part of the relationship between a child and an adult and for this reason if the relationship between them is adequate it will certainly be less difficult to face mealtime.

If the child in the first approach with food is left free to mess around, taste everything and eat first with his hands and then with a spoon, surely the terrible two phase ( as the Americans call it and it is the phase that goes from 2 to 3 years) will not be so “terrible” and it is unlikely that a child who has always tasted and eaten a little of everything suddenly stops eating, except for important and not well sustained changes, such as for example the birth of a little brother, a relocation, separation of parents, etc.

In any case, some care should be taken during the meal and in the moments that precede it to make it a pleasant moment.

Useful tips

  • if you try a new food you shouldn’t insist but try again in the following weeks for at least a dozen times;
  • always offer a good variety of tastes and flavours;
  • eating together with the child, parents should always set a good example , and if you refuse to eat vegetables, the child probably won’t want them either, even if they won’t necessarily appreciate everything the parents eat. In any case, sharing a meal with the family means sharing a moment of the day all together, sometimes the only one in the week, where you can tell yourself how the day went by and encourage the child to make new food suggestions. Learning from an early age to sit at the table all together requires, as in all things, a little commitment on the part of the parents, but it will bring good results over time. In any case, it is right for the child to propose some whim every now and then!!!;
  • keep the television off and do nothing else while eating, so phones, tablets, newspapers or other things must not interfere during the meal;
  • when the child grows up it is right to involve him in the preparation of the meal, perhaps being able to knead the dough, take out the pots, break up the salad and also help set the table, without being too afraid that they might break the plates and glasses, to learn they have to try, experiment and it may happen that something breaks. Obviously everything always under the watchful eye of the adult to avoid dangers;
  • if the child begins to feel hungry an hour after dinner, the child can be offered some vegetables to munch on, but nothing else must be allowed, otherwise he will arrive at the meal without hunger;
  • avoid giving fruit juices, preserved pasta, etc. to children. and prefer a snack with yogurt, juices or simple homemade donuts to avoid too much sugar which does not favor digestion and the right hunger for the next meal;
  • leave the child free to discover the food , to eat with his hands, to get dirty but helping him when he is in difficulty;
  • never force the child to eat by stuffing food into his mouth, as in doing so he will associate the moment of the meal with an unpleasant moment and if he refuses what is offered to him, it must be pointed out that he will not be able to eat anything else until the snack or breakfast. If the child has a normal weight and has a healthy state of health, nothing will happen if he misses a meal;
  • once the child’s tastes are clear, it would be advisable to mix the favorites with the least favorites or give the least favorite first and then the other, regardless of the sequence of courses. Also creating appetizing and fun dishes can stimulate the child to eat more willingly;
  • if the child has feeding difficulties, avoid talking about his “problems” in front of him , because this will make him feel even more at the center of attention, consolidating more and more his refusal to eat or it can accentuate the unpleasant connotation that food has taken on for him;
  • often these difficulties in feeding the child cause the parents to worry excessively, putting pressure, creating more and more resistance and those who usually feed him more often get nervous, triggering strong tensions. In this case it is better for this person to leave the place for another to ensure that the meal does not turn into an unpleasant moment.

These small and simple strategies, if well applied, usually help children and parents to find that serenity that was lost during the meal.

Dr Kathryn Barlow

Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.

Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.

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