18 mistakes people make when it comes to getting babies to sleep
What are the most common mistakes parents make when it comes to getting their baby to sleep?
Getting babies or older children to sleep is a problem that affects many parents.
There is no magic potion, or a general rule, to put into practice, but there are some common mistakes which, if avoided or corrected, can allow you to educate your child to have a good night’s sleep.
Here are the most common mistakes you can make:
1. Waiting too long before putting the baby to bed.
Many children when they are too tired they start screaming and crying inconsolably. When they reach this exasperated state it becomes even more difficult to get them to sleep. It would therefore be very important to be able to identify tiredness even before it manifests itself in a striking way. There are small clues that allow us to understand if the child is tired, and which should lead us to dim the lights a little, speak softly, create an atmosphere of relaxation and pampering , to accompany them to sleep.
Each child can show his own signs of tiredness even if in general they can be the following:
- the baby yawns
- the child rubs his eyes
- the child keeps his fists closed
- the child staggers (if he can already walk)
2. Underestimating the power of bedtime routine
Many of us grew up with very specific bedtimes, if not right up until the start of high school, at least until middle school. It is probably habits “from the last century”, which imposed timetables, a hot bath, reading a story before turning off the light and sleeping. Old habits yes, but not wrong.
Parents are much busier nowadays, both fathers and mothers are busy many hours away from home and women often take on their shoulders not only work, but also all the management of the house and domestic and family activities . In short, there is little time left for those simple parenting strategies such as the bedtime routine at set times.
Here we would have to wonder why many dads participate so little in all these activities, but this is not the place to address this issue which would require several hours of discussion…
Children need routine, coherence, they adapt easily to regularity and begin to get tired just around the time you have decided to be the best for bedtime. The time you go to bed depends a lot on the time you wake up in the morning.
The more children go to bed at precise times, at the right time, the more parents will have evening space to devote to what they prefer, including sleep.
3. Skip the bedtime routine (“whatever you want it to be for once ”)
Routine requires patience and perseverance. If you want to alter the schedules, trying to get them to go to bed earlier than expected, it will be a frustrating experience for everyone. Many children will simply refuse to sleep earlier because their body tells them it ‘s still time to play.
It’s easier to change the context than to upset the child’s routine. For example, if you have to go out with the baby in the evening, equip yourself with the necessary to make him sleep at the usual time even if he is with you. Bring a portable cot or stroller that can recline for your child to rest comfortably.
If you change your routine for one evening it is normal that it takes a couple of nights before the previous habit resumes.
There are some studies indicating that babies used to a routine sleep longer at night.
4. Only one parent takes care of putting to bed
One parent may choose to take on the task of putting the child to bed because they don’t want to disturb their partner who may be stressed out at work, or because they think they are better at that task than the other.
This is a wrong choice, because putting a child to bed and dealing with the routine can be very demanding, sometimes nerve-wracking, and both must work together.
5. Respond to EVERY little sound or shake.
Babies naturally make sounds while they’re sleeping, and there’s no reason to rush at every little cue. It may be that the child is dreaming or he may simply be in the shallowest stage of sleep. If you rush into the room every time they make a small sound, you will unintentionally wake up the baby.
Try to relax and only answer when you are sure the baby is awake or there is another problem. Over time you will learn to recognize the sounds your baby makes while sleeping and while he is awake. You may also find that your baby sometimes falls asleep without your help (which everyone wants to encourage and encourage).
6. Keeping the baby in the middle of loud noises
Would you be able to sleep if there was a party happening right outside your door? Probably not, and while they say babies often sleep better with noise… it depends on the type of noise.
Children need to rest and above all to fall asleep in a calm atmosphere. So you can use white noise apps that can help create an “adequately noisy” environment, but loud noises certainly don’t help. While the baby is sleeping try to keep the decibels low.
7. Use co-sleeping only because it is less tiring
Have you ever been so exhausted that you preferred to keep your baby in bed with you just because you didn’t have the desire, or the energy, to put the baby in his bed?
Many babies calm down and will only go to sleep if they have the warmth and security of a parent nearby, but this can have a long-term impact on your baby’s sleep habits. They may get the message that fidgeting long enough will eventually lead them to sleep in the bed.
While we’ve always spoken favorably of co-sleeping, it’s okay to stay consistent with your chosen routine. If you have chosen that the child sleeps in his bed, when you are tired ask your partner to put him to bed.
8. Make him sleep too much during the day
Are you one of those parents who love freedom and don’t care much about schedules and routines? You can certainly allow the child to adopt a free lifestyle, but this will not always translate into “natural” rhythms. When too much sleep is indulged in during the day, it may erroneously create a night owl ( Nakagawa, 2016 ) who does not want to fall asleep when tired.
It may therefore be necessary and useful for the health of the child to set limits, wake up a child who sleeps too long at the wrong times and choose a good time for bedtime.
9. Do not entertain the child during waking hours.
Does the child receive the right stimuli during the day? If they sit for a long time without anyone entertaining them, they can get bored, a bit like we adults do. A little boredom is good, too much not so much.
Make sure you interact with the child when he is awake, read him a story, sing songs, take him to the park, let him do activities appropriate for his age . Thus in the evening you will have a tired, satisfied and ready for bedtime baby.
10. Don’t let the child learn to self-soothe
Children who have difficulty falling asleep are unable or unwilling to give in to sleep. They’re so used to being rocked, rocked, or massaged to sleep that they won’t sleep without that comfort. In some cases, those loving behaviors become cues that remind the child it’s time to sleep. In other cases, the child simply associates that comfort with sleep and without it they are unable to abandon themselves in the arms of Morpheus.
When they are newborns it is important to comfort the child and help him sleep, but it is also very important to give the child the opportunity to learn to fall asleep on his own. This doesn’t mean letting a baby cry until he’s too tired to continue. It simply means making the child feel comfortable and happy when he has to fall asleep , so that he can slowly do it on his own. The earlier you start, the more the child will get used to sleep and in this the routine is fundamental (Burham, 2005 )
11.Different routines according to the situation
If the child spends many hours or days and nights with his grandparents, or if the parents are separated, it is important that everyone adopts the same routine. This will prevent your baby from feeling fuzzy and restless when he needs to sleep.
Consistency, always.
12. Don’t respond to crying right away
If on the one hand you shouldn’t run to the child’s room at the slightest sound, on the other hand you shouldn’t be late going to the child if he starts crying.
Maybe he has a full diaper and needs to be changed, or he’s gotten too hot… Taking care of those discomforts in a timely manner will probably allow the baby to fall asleep again soon after.
To prevent the child from being too hot, adopt these rules that explain how to dress him at night .
13. Not coordinating meal times and nap times
If there’s one simple thing you can do to help your child get used to a normal sleep routine, it’s to synchronize meals and naps.
Babies get tired naturally when their stomachs get full, so it’s easier to get them to sleep right after feeding or feeding.
14. Put him to bed late to get more sleep in the morning
Want to keep your child up late so you can sleep more the next morning? It usually doesn’t work like this until they’re teenagers!
If your child is accustomed to a certain sleep routine and wakes up at 6 in the morning, he will still wake up at that time even if you are late for bedtime. With the further aggravating circumstance that he will be particularly irritated because he has slept less than usual.
15. Not knowing how much sleep a child needs
Many parents worry that their children are sleeping too much or too little, but really don’t know what is normal for their child’s age group .
Remember that every child is different, so your little one may need a little less sleep, or a little more, than other children.
Always ask your pediatrician for advice when you are concerned about your child’s sleep pattern.
16. Eliminate any sources of light or noise
Some parents try to make the room where their children sleep perfectly quiet and dark. Just as excessive noise is not ideal, neither is perfect silence and absolute darkness, because they will teach the child to wake up with every little sound they hear or whenever there is some light. White noise in the baby’s room helps them not get used to excessive silence for sleeping.
17. Moving from crib to crib or toddler bed too soon.
Many parents look forward to “big” milestones like the transition from crib to crib. Taking this step too early, and not in line with your child’s timing, will cause your child to feel uncomfortable, confused, and unable to sleep as well as before.
18. Introduce the cot without warning.
Most children don’t respond well to sudden changes. As ready as you seem, your child may need time to figure out what’s happening and why. Start talking about what a bed is, and how nice it can be to move from a cot to a real, bigger bed. When you understand that the child is ready, then you can offer him the new bed. Without making more than one change at a time ( pottying , removing the pacifier, new little brother / sister, etc.).
Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.
Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.