How to involve the future dad during pregnancy

If you are pregnant or are already mothers, from experience you can testify that those 9 months are one of the most exciting periods of your life. Sure, there are nauseas, tiredness… but in principle pregnancy, to quote an advertising slogan, “puts wings on your feet”.

This is especially noticeable in the eyes of expectant mothers while the fathers follow closely behind, struggling to understand what is really happening.

They certainly participate in the conception, they rejoice in the positive test, they can’t wait to tell relatives and friends, but once the initial strong emotion is over, for the following 7 months they find themselves in a state of limbo in which they struggle to feel truly involved .

In fact, the baby is growing inside the body of the woman who feels all the changes and symptoms associated with gestation, but also the first movements, kicks, the baby’s first hiccups…And it is difficult to be able to convey all these sensations to the future dad, who, however willing, cannot identify with the woman and what she feels.

If the couple already has a child, dads often “hide” in caring for the firstborn brought to the nth degree, partly to relieve the woman’s hardships, partly to feel more useful and involved in the family.

How to make dad feel more involved?

The visit

Try to always be accompanied to visits with the midwife, with the gynecologist, to the preparatory course.

Together prepare the questions to ask, in order to make the most of the meeting with the expert.

Collaboration is essential during pregnancy and will become even more important once the baby is born. You must think as a team, where the individual complements the other for a common goal.

A party for the future dad

Expectant mothers are often organized a Baby Shower with friends, a party in which the expectant mother receives gifts for the baby. Why not organize something for the future dad too?

In the United States, parallel to the Baby Shower, males celebrate their partner’s pregnancy with the Diaper Party . Friends bring diapers as a gift and we celebrate around a barbecue and lots of beer!

Involve him with services designed specifically for future dads

Make sure that dad also follows the stages of pregnancy. You can use a common application, or you can make them subscribe to pregnancy week notifications , or even make them read the monthly information designed specifically for dads.

Interact with the child

Involve dads in the baby’s movement, in what you hear, let him read a story, make sure that the baby listens to his voice, and therefore speaks freely to your belly.

Maybe the first few times they will feel a little embarrassed but gradually it will become natural for them too.

Get help from him

Let him help you remember your appointments, take folic acid and organize everything you need for the baby’s arrival. Design the bedroom together, let him do it if he wants to build something with his own hands.

Involve him in home activities that you struggle to complete due to pregnancy and get gentle massages when you’re tired.

In short, try to experience pregnancy together, never neglecting communication, both physical (never miss the cuddles during pregnancy) and verbal. Not only the beautiful things, but also the fears and fears must be faced together. sharing even one’s weaknesses helps to strengthen the couple relationship.

Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.

Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.

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