First month of pregnancy for dad

The series “The months of pregnancy for dad” was written according to current grammatical rules, which have not yet found a concerted rule for the introduction of formulas that take due account of the important cultural changes that have led us today to keep in consideration of the different identity realities linked to the perception of one’s gender and one’s sexuality. Furthermore, due to the complexity of finding terms that are completely inclusive of the complexity of relationships that can exist between the fetus, pregnant woman, biological parents, non-biological parents, partners or involved in various capacities, I have opted to simplify the language by resorting to the stereotype still more today frequent use, or that of a female woman who becomes pregnant following unprotected sexual intercourse with a male man. Furthermore, for further simplification, we will stereotypically portray these two parents as married and the fetus as a sentient being described as having a male sex and a male gender identity. Hoping that our language will soon and officially adapt to the new lenses with which we observe reality, I have nevertheless found it useful to dedicate a few paragraphs to situations which, although less frequent, are in any case known to the general public, such as, for example, twin pregnancy or the most complex situations imaginable, such as that of a homosexual couple in which the pregnancy is entrusted to the mother of one of the partners, that is inseminated with both sperm and an egg donation from an unknown person, and that develops a twin pregnancy in which the two fetuses have a different biological father. Of course you will understand my need to resort to the worn lexical formulas still in force, I hope that the texts of the nine months of pregnancy can accompany you and make you reflect, also on the changes taking place in our society. 

Are they twins?

Only one sperm in 100 million makes it. But, more and more often they make it in two. The probability that the pregnancy is twins has been steadily increasing since 1975 (pictured). Nowadays, one in every 250 pregnancies is twins. As a rough approximation, you can imagine that at least a couple of your classmates have had twins.

Although there are hereditary factors, a twin pregnancy can happen to anyone. You’ll find out if you’re expecting twins during an ultrasound, which typically takes place in the fifth or sixth week.

Support the wife?

Often the husband is told that there is nothing for him to do, because after all, pregnancy is, in its lowest terms, a state of health of the wife. This is true: the future father could go on with his life, as if nothing had happened.

Others, with a modern approach, solicit a support intervention for the pregnant woman, which typically expresses itself in emotional support and in taking care of the household chores that the wife will gradually find it more difficult to carry out.

Indeed, you will realize that there was the first month of pregnancy when it will have already passed! It sounds like a joke, but the strange female world makes it mathematically difficult to establish the true beginning of pregnancy. For this reason the (probably male) gynecologists, unable to help outlining the course of pregnancy, have established that the first month begins with the last menstrual cycle (ie when she is not yet pregnant).

You missed? It’s normal, it took me sleepless nights to understand the matter. If you want to deepen it, I’ll explain it below so as not to leave technician lovers dry-mouthed. But if he doesn’t interest you, he skips even feet and go to the next paragraph.

Weeks of pregnancy, months of pregnancy, gestational age

Warning: don’t start discussing these things with women : if they say they’re five weeks old and you start to specify that it’s gestational age 4+0, you risk lynching. Be content with knowing you are right.

As they said, the time of pregnancy is counted from the beginning of the last menstruation (then she never had them again…). In week number 1, the one following the last cycle, she is not yet pregnant and neither will she be pregnant in the second. At the end of this, more or less, there was the moment in which she ovulated (in simple words she could get pregnant) and, having made love at the right time , the pregnancy began.

Neither of them knew, until about the end of week number 4, when her period didn’t arrive and the pregnancy test gave its thumbs-up.

In conclusion, you will be aware of becoming a father in the fifth week of pregnancy. Psychologically it could have been a bit annoying to know it so late (5 weeks!), but now you know that these are not real times.

Now let’s get technical: for medical reasons, gynecologists prefer to talk about gestational age and completed weeks. What does it mean? That the gynecologist is interested in knowing if at least 8 weeks have completely passed in order to evaluate the values ​​of any tests. Being in week number 8 means instead that 7 weeks have been completed and you are progressing into the eighth. The gynecologist will then say you are at 7+x weeks, which is 7 full weeks ex days.

But what the hell is going on?

As you read this article, you may already know that your partner is pregnant (and therefore will be at the end of the first month or even the second), or you are looking for a baby. In any case, you are informing yourself: bravo, not everyone does it and they risk missing out on the beauty of this moment or, even worse, not understanding it.

Whoever is pregnant is your partner. Whoever has hormonal swings, has nausea, has a changing body, has to go to the doctor, has to be careful about what he eats, it’s always and only her .

For you male,  things continue more or less as before , you don’t have the possibility of physically experiencing a pregnancy and therefore it is more difficult for you to “understand” these sudden emotional and physical changes (not only for the baby bump that will arrive).

It is therefore very important to be ready to follow, understand, support these enormous changes, knowing that they are natural and that they are the path traced by nature to give birth to the baby she is carrying. It is of little use to know that the increase in hormones makes her sensitive or very sweet, eager for frankfurters and sauerkraut or intolerant of your aftershave.

He doesn’t do it out of spite, that’s it .

And if you know it, you can take all these upheavals with joy (at least go let off steam with a little extra sport, but don’t start quarrels and discussions about things that will soon pass).

If the pregnancy has not started

If you are still looking for a child, there are only small attentions to pay and habits to adopt:

• expectant mother can start taking folic acid (remind her)
• preconception tests can be done , useful to prevent problems during pregnancy
• if mom smokes, it’s an opportunity to commit to quitting
• if the father smokes, at least he must get into the habit of doing so outside the home
• holiday in places that involve the intake of medicines or special vaccinations should be evaluated with the doctor
• and many more tips are available in the area  to get pregnant

Remember that the search for a child must be lived calmly by both of you: therefore try to be supportive if the first attempts do not give results, especially if she begins to have doubts and fears (usually unfounded) that can disturb her deeply.

You could also read the first month of pregnancy for her .

See all pregnancy months for dad

By Stefano (and don’t forget to leave me a comment with your impressions, thanks!)