Coming into the world, the role of pregnant dads
The father who is involved in the birth process is a father who immediately feels the protagonist of the relationship with the child and is aware as well as participating in the choices and daily care of the little one. Not only. He is a father who forms and informs himself right from the start and is likely to continue to do so over time in each phase of his child’s growth.
It is a meeting of bodies, of emotions, of expectations that involves the couple from the beginning of the pregnancy which embarks on a journey of discovery and reflection from the pre-conception, especially for those couples who live the search for a child with greater difficulty.
The rooting process of each child begins even before his arrival, he is born in the dreams and imagination of the couple and then discovers himself in the womb and finally is welcomed on earth and in the family.
In this path that has all the flavor of a journey, the mother and the father share the time of birth in a more or less participatory way.
And if it is true that it is the mother’s body that is interested during the time of waiting, it is equally understandable how much this moment, for most fathers, becomes a “suspended time”.
During pregnancy and waiting for the big day, that of giving birth and being born, the father is still too often represented and imagined as a marginal figure.
A minor protagonist of a show in which the main actors are considered only the mother and the child.
This “detachment” from each other is not always a choice of the future father, on the contrary many fathers experience this marginality as something natural because for the society of the past “it has always been done this way” or even more, motherhood has always been perceived as a “purely women’s issue”.
In reality today we recognize the centrality of the father’s role and how he assumes it and we recognize how his actions can have important repercussions both in the postpartum period and later, when the triad could feel the heaviness of the lack of a continuum .
The role of dads in pregnancy
Today the couple is allowed, (indeed strongly suggested), to reflect on the concept of parenting so that from the prenatal period there is a “responsible” and “responsive” parenting, therefore capable of responding to their needs for their children and their children, to their emotions, with effectiveness and presence. A parenting that is shared in the couple.
During the period of waiting for the birth, therefore, it is hoped that father and mother prepare not only a material layette, but above all a fertile “ground” for meeting, i.e. full of information, experiences, skills for the new life that will involve them and that at times it will overwhelm them.
It is essential that the path to birth is aware for mom and dad right from pregnancy and to have time to reflect accompanied by expert personnel, to prepare for various topics such as: conscious labor and childbirth, the first moments together and the return at home, the importance of breastfeeding , the needs and care of the newborn, the centrality of the couple and much more.
Making fathers aware of their role as an integral part of the journey that will lead to the birth of their child is also effective and necessary in the paths accompanying the birth. A duty required today of professionals who deal with these issues, not only for the formation of a new generation of families, but also in terms of public health.
In a historical moment in which the figure of the father tries to find a whole new dimension compared to past clichés , studies underline the need for a woman to have her partner beside her not only in the delivery room , but also in the postpartum period and that he can play his role as father and support to the new family that was born.
Accompaniment at birth: a matter of couple!
In childbirth courses, the father should be carefully involved from the beginning in a process that leads the couple to face the issues of pregnancy and childbirth, but above all it is necessary to face and talk about what life will be like with a child: today more than ever couples want to feel prepared and have a well-stocked “toolbox” with which to face life with the little one in the best way right from the start.
Childbirth thus becomes the first stage of a lifelong journey, a journey of education and training for the parents themselves.
The fil rouge of the path to birth is to address each topic with a look at the after birth, so that many “bridges” are created in the parents between pregnancy and after, ensuring the couple that continuum that childbirth seems to interrupt .
Particular attention is paid to breastfeeding, which according to the latest Istat data, only 6.4% continue exclusively until the child’s sixth month of life. Dads also play a very important support role in breastfeeding.
For this reason it is desirable that they can discuss during the birth accompaniment course even between groups of dads. It is essential to share thoughts and doubts on the subject, not forgetting that ” feeding on demand ” does not mean only feeding the baby, but rather satisfying in a broader sense any request and need that he wishes to express.
Parenting today and in the future
My experience of these years of profession as a prenatal educator, shows me a clear path: the father affected by the pregnancy, made aware of the physiological mechanisms of breastfeeding, of sleep, of the needs in general of the children, will more likely be a dad who after childbirth acts as a shield and protection for mom . He manages to understand their needs, capable of supporting the dyad as an “active and competent” third protagonist.
The father who is involved in the birth process is a father who immediately feels the protagonist of the relationship with the child and is aware as well as participating in the choices and daily care of the little one. Not only.
He is a father who forms and informs himself right from the start and is likely to continue to do so over time in each phase of his child’s growth.
In this way the parenting journey begins in that initial meeting of bodies, emotions and expectations but then continues shared, to the great satisfaction of mum and dad.
A path to protect and support the child and everyone’s future.
Ilaria Magrinelli
Perinatal Educator
Kathryn Barlow is an OB/GYN doctor, which is the medical specialty that deals with the care of women's reproductive health, including pregnancy and childbirth.
Obstetricians provide care to women during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, while gynecologists focus on the health of the female reproductive system, including the ovaries, uterus, vagina, and breasts. OB/GYN doctors are trained to provide medical and surgical care for a wide range of conditions related to women's reproductive health.