A child arrives: grandparents and parents compared

When a child is born, a powerful transformation takes place not only in the couple but also within the whole family unit.

The transition from parents to grandparents implies a complex psychological transformation which involves accepting a new role and brings about a radical change on a personal level.

Grandparents are not born but made and this requires a reinvention of oneself and a constant adaptation to a model that each of us has within.

Grandparents play a very important role in the growth of their grandchildren and are fundamental reference and support figures.

Being, in a certain sense, grandparents are free from the obligation to educate, they can give their time unconditionally, focusing above all on the relationship with their grandchild. Grandparents, therefore, can privilege the playful aspect of being together and become bearers of values, traditions and experience.

Usually with the birth of a child, the opportunities for frequenting the respective families of origin increase and often the reasons for conflict or discussion can also increase.

Grandparents should understand that their role is different from that of parents and should comfort new parents about their skills . Overly invasive attitudes from grandparents can create tensions between partners, creating bad moods. Often this intrusiveness can arise from an unconscious rivalry and a confusion of roles.

Allies for the good of the baby

To avoid conflicts as much as possible, it is advisable to try to redefine relationships and create a solid couple alliance to overcome unpleasant situations and to focus on the well-being of the little one.

In this sense, parents must be united and agree on educational methods and maintain deep communication in order to be able to manage emotions, define boundaries, establish rules and help each other. It is essential for the couple to clearly share the rules, limits and concessions to avoid misunderstandings and misunderstandings as much as possible.

It is very important to handle possible disagreements in a non-confrontational way and above all to avoid arguing in front of the child or using the child as a tool to achieve something.

Everyone’s goal must be to work together to love, grow and educate the little one.

It is therefore important for both parents and grandparents to be clear that the common goal is the well-being of the child and, to do this, a good family atmosphere is very important. In this sense, it is better to make agreements rather than declare war.

By observing adults, the child learns how to relate to others and to manage conflicts and frustrations, so it is important to remember that the example of life that we pass on is worth much more than many words.